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Jedward meets Obama!

Okay okay...I said that yesterday's post was the last one for this year, but Nucera just sent this article over and I just had to share. Yes, it's Jedward meeting the Obamas (with Daniel Day Lewis in the background) and then performing for them (clip included!)

Uhm, did pigs start flying over the frozen river Styx?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1390524/Barack-Obama-meets-Jedward-gives-hair-seal-approval.html

Eurovision: A History

It's the 55th Anniversary of the Eurovision Song Contest today! So, I could say I waited until today to do my first blogpost, because I didn't want to inundate everyone with another slew of Eurovision posts. I mean, yeah sure, that's EXACTLY why I haven't posted until now. (It wasn't because I am so technically inept, that I still can't link this Blog to my Facebook Notes; or that I have been jet-lagged; or that I made much ado about nothing about this being my first Blog entry...like, EVER). That said, let's get to the good stuff?

So, 55 years ago today, the European Broadcasting Union hosted seven European nations in Lugano, Switzerland for a friendly music competition and called it Eurovision Song Contest (Concours Eurovision de la chanson, in French, which was really the only language that mattered back then). Each country was represented by two musical acts, chosen by their respective countries' own broadcasting organizations, with the firm rule that the lyrics of each entry had to written and performed in the own national language(s) of each participating country. With four national languages (German, French, Italian and Romansh), Switzerland was seen to have a natural advantage, especially with the United Kingdom (along with Austria and Denmark) disqualified due to a late entry submission issue. Of the two Swiss songs performed by Lys Assia, Refrain controversially came out the winner for the first host of the Contest (she was interviewed several times during this year's contest). Incidentally, through its many years participating in the Contest, Switzerland has been represented by each of its national languages (along with English after the national language rule was nixed), but has only won in French. This first win would also be the only time Swiss would take home the trophy until the appearance of a young Celine Dion in 1988 with Ne partez pas sans moi (Do not leave without me -excuse the audio quality). This is pre chest-pounding, Titanic theme song belting, $500 a ticket Vegas shows Celine. It's almost vintage (witness the hair, the teeth and my G-d, that dress).

If you know me at all, you also know that whatever Celine does or says, she is NEVER EVER wrong. She is in fact F***ing Amazing (I had to throw this clip in here...I laugh every time I see it) and OMG, I just realized this is directly related to being exposed to her at such an early age in French, in her natural state (before the professionals got the style on her). No other act could ever compare to Celine in her Eurovision finesse (ahem, that goes out to you Colbie Caillat wannabe Swiss chick singing that plagiarized song of yours and coming in last this year. HA-see, there is some justice in the Eurovision world).

Oh yeah, click here to watch the winners from Azerbaijan. I thought they would get Top 5, but win? The theory out there is that because Turkey didn't make the final this year, Azerbaijan's Top-5 worthy song got the boost of all the votes Turkey would have gotten from the immigrant populations living in various countries. I tend to believe there's A LOT of truth to that. It wasn't quite the landslide victory Lena had last year, but it was decisive. Oh well, so much for Eurovision in Tel Aviv or Stockholm or Copenhagen next year. Burke, I had a fantastic time on this trip with you...I cannot thank you enough for our crazy German/Eurovision tour! For realz yo!

I'm up for 2013, how about you (*depending on hosting country, of course)?

Eurovision!

We get back to the hotel that time forgo and started getting ready for the show. Asan was completely beside himself with excitement...



I was pretty excited too, but clearly not as much as Asan was...



We hopped on the tram and headed to the Arena. I knew it was going to be pretty campy there, but the level of gayness far exceeded anything I could possibly fathom, it was as if the spirit of Judy Garland, Cher and Celine Dion had taken over the Esprit Arena. Here are just some of the highlights...



I couldn't get the picture, but they were wearing lovely sparkly tops under their Union Jacks. And then this guy...



In a full body Union Jack unitard, and if you are picturing some strapping lad in the unitard, thing again, I'm pretty sure the size of the unitard was jumbo. Oh and let's not forget these German and Irish fans...






And for some reason these fans decided to drink one for themselves and one for their homies...



Speaking of booze we grabbed some/several cocktails before the show, mmm...






We settled into our seats which were pretty sweet, and so was the stadium...






And now for the highlights of the show. There were lots of boy bands, the good ones...



This guy sang about apples or something, but he was kinda cute in a folksy sort of way...


These guys were from Finland and had nice hair and tattoos, I was 2 cocktails in at this point, that's all I've got...


This guy was from Sweden and he sang a song called "Popular" and he pretty much was with every girl and gay in the place. Oh and he broke glass during his performance, careful!


This guy was from Russia, he was a pretty cheesy James Dean wannabe, he kept winking throughout the whole son, I thought he had a lazy eye...


And then there was Blue from the UK, they're hot, the end. And then there is Jedward...









Most of the pictures of Jedward are blurry, because for 3 solid minutes they just jumped around like hyperactive squirrels with really big hair...



But I have to say they were pretty entertaining in their absolute horridness and complete inability to sing.

There were also a lot of female powerhouses too...



Like this woman from Hungary, great song, but she kinda looks a little mannish too no?



And this is the raining champ from Germany, Lena, defending her title, she lost...



This girl from Slovenia was amazing, kind of like Christina Aguilera...Slovetina? No? Helloo? Is this thing on? Ehhem...okay moving on.

Here are the rest, who were all random ish...



There was French Josh Groban...



And this girl did magic! Abracadabra...you lost...



And let's not forget pissed off Jennifer Love Hewitt or Blossom, from Georgia...



Oh and these two were from Maldova, they are wearing Gnome hats and she is on a unicycle, enough said.

In the end, the winners this year came from Azerbijan...






And that's all folks, it was a great week and great show, thanks Asan for an awesome time...







Now I'm off to meet B-rad and the in-laws in Italy! Ciao!!

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Location:Dusseldorf

And Then There Was One...Day Left

We went to the dress rehearsal for the show last night and apparently imam just an idiot and you were allowed to bring cameras to the show last night. I know I suck, but fear not because thankfully we get to go to the live finale tonight!

I know you have all been dying to know just how amazing Eurovision is!! And if not hopefully this blog as provided a modicum of distraction while you have been "working". And to all the bosses out there, I am not in control, I am just a measly servant, providing idiocy to the masses.

Okay, with the disclaimer out of the way, let's get down to business. It's the last day in Germany, so there is a lot to cover. We started the day, wandering around Dusseldorf waiting for Asan's cousin Mayanna to meet up with us.

While we waited, Asan told me about something called Spaghetti Ice Cream. It sounded like he was joking, but we went to a cafe and he showed me this...



This was too good to be true, apparently this ice cream is pressed through a potato ricer and served to look like pasta, I know ridiculous right?!? Uhh ridiculously amazing also! I order the traditional spaghetti ice cream and this is what I got...



Vanilla ice cream (spaghetti) with strawberry sauce (marinara sauce) and shaved white chocolate (parmesan cheese). Yeah it was kind of amazing...






After we finished fighting over the last bite, we went to meet Mayannah, and like everyone else in Asan's family, she was pretty fantastic...


Being a teacher in the area, she took us around Dusseldorf for a bit, before heading down to the Rhine for cocktails...
























As we were walking around we started seeing people getting ready for the big night...



This picture is for Jon and Jeff, we found Irish folk with faux Jedward hair, and yes we tried to find some but apparently the Irish, like us, were too drunk to bring extra to Germany.

We also saw this...



Apparently Minnie Mouse, aka Heinrich loves Eurovision too!

And lets not forget this shmuck...




All in all Mayannah showed us a great time in Dusseldorf, but we are off to head home and get ready for the big show tonight...


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Location:Dusseldorf

The Whomp Whomp aka Sad Trombone Hotel

We hopped on the early train to Dusseldorf, first class of course (see earlier post on fancy gays)...






Even though we were a little tired, we were still excited to be heading to Dusseldorf for the first night of Eurovision! Did I mentioned that we traveled there in style? I only say that again because that is DEFINITELY where the fancy portion of out trip ended.

Four relaxing hours later, we arrived in Neuss, which is a small town just outside of Dusseldorf. Apparently every gay in Europe had already booked Dusseldorf, whomp whomp (the first of many to come)

We finally got to our hotel in beautiful Neuss (and by beautiful i mean not). We tried to check in but couldn't because the card reader wasn't working so we had to wait 20 minutes for them to figure it out, whomp whomp. Once we got our key we got in the elevator that was clearly built by the Lollipop guild...






It also took us about 5 minutes to figure out how to get into our room lock thing is older than we are combined, whomp whomp. Once we got into the room, I just have no words to describe it, other than it is kind of like the room that time forgot, so we will start with a collage...

Here is the amazing color scheme...



Beautiful right? And then these are some of the "accessories" in the room...



Apparently they still make those, and anyone want to listen to music, it's covered...



I'm pretty sure my Grandpa had this radio on his boat when I was 5. Oh, and in case you get hot, there is this shoved in a cubbyhole...



And apparently by "wi-fi" they mean "no-fi" because ya there ain't any, it's more like "liar-fi". Let's not forget the beautiful view...



Picturesque ain't it? Oh and if you need an iron or ironing board, "the iron" as in the 1 for the hotel is currently in another room, but they would be happy to try and steal it for you from that room. Really?!?

The only positive to this room, is that they gave you a few options to end things...









Yes that is a wire going from one end the wall to the other, it's convenient for a hanging. And in the case of that event, they have your last rights covered...



So all in all, this is how we feel about this place, whomp, whomp...



Which for some reason is in the bathroom, apparently they don't want you to go to the bathroom either (insert sad trombone here) But if you don't heed our warning, they have "business cards"...


Yes those are indeed photocopies of business cards, not actaul business cards. With that we are heading out to the show,which apparently we can't bring a camera to...say it with me everyone, whomp whomp!

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Location:Dusseldorf